Horror Author Daniel I. Russell
TODAY WE HAVE SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT. WHILE I’M NOT ONE FOR SALES PITCHES, I RECENTLY MET A GENTLEMEN WHO PIQUED MY CURIOSITY REGARDING AN EMERGING SOCIAL NETWORK. MOVE OVER FACEBOOK! I ASKED HIM TO BE A GUEST ON THE BLOG. LET’S SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.
CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR ORGANISATION?
Of course, and thank you for having me!
All I have to do is ask: have you ever wanted…more?
Of course you have! It’s human nature to look at our simple lives, perhaps the plain wife in front of the television and the ugly brats that are fighting over the meagre crumbs your worthless employment can provide. Does this sound like you? Then read on, friend!
We here at the Cult of Zandathru…
LET ME STOP YOU THERE. CULT? WE HEAR SUCH HORROR STORIES ABOUT CULTS NOWADAYS. NOT GOING TO OFFER ME KOOLAID ARE YOU?
No, no. Let me explain. The word cult in the Cult of Zandathru is merely a term. Consider it as a friendly group of people. We have no religious connotations nor connections. You will not be required to attend church, pray or sing hymns. We also don’t have any religious texts that you are to meticulously study. We put the ult back into cult, ult being the neo-anglo-saxon term for fun!
SO THERE IS NO RELIGIOUS COMMITMENT?
Well, Zandathru is the ancient god of chaos, but it’s more like a figurehead. Something for the Cafepress t shirts and mugs.
SO IF THE CULT OF ZANDATHRU HAS NO RELIGIOUS BACKGROUND, WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? I’M INTRIGUED!
Our members believe in themselves. If you want something, why shouldn’t you have it? Don’t we all work hard enough to get what we want? The Cult of Zandathru is also firmly established in the new world of telecommunications, and we regularly have members meet and trade ideas online. We also broadcast directly to members over the net via our subscription service. That side of the business is run by a chap we call Demon, as he’s a demon when it comes to technology! Demon has a very impressive set up at our Orchard House site in the quaint old town of Samhane. Subscribers are guaranteed the upmost in download times, hi-res video and and a wide band width, whatever that means!
AND WHAT DO YOU PROVIDE?
Let me ask you something. What would you want providing?
FOR A STREAMING SITE? I WOULD EXPECT MUSIC, SPORT, THE LATEST MOVIES…
I think we’re being a little modest! What would you really want to see? Any fantasy can be provided. Any sin of the flesh imaginable can be broadcast live into your own living room…
AH, SO YOU RUN A PORN SITE?
The term porn is so…tarnished, nowadays. Is it porn to eat caviar and drink champagne in the finest restaurant? Or to scratch an itch that’s been screaming for attention? No, I don’t think it is. We cater for any taste, and subscribers can even email their requests in live during the broadcast. Please bear in mind that none of the broadcasts are morally wrong in any way. We have members who even watch with their children! We love the little tykes, and they enjoy the interactivity of the shows. Children are the future, after all.
CAN YOU CONFIRM THAT THE CULT OF ZANDATHRU IS TIED WITH BELVEDERE LTD, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY JOSEPH BELVEDERE? THE GRANDSON OF CHARLES BELVEDERE, FOUNDER OF SAMHANE?
THE BROADCASTS SOUND GREAT. IT WOULD BE NICE TO FIND SOMETHING MY YOUNG SON AND I CAN DO TOGETHER. HOW DO I FIND OUT MORE?
The next step would be to pick up a copy of the novel Samhane. The Cult of Zandathru employed some hack writer to dress up our practices and make it look like a novel. That way, we can attract the lucrative market of fiction readers. Why waste time reading when you can watch pure pleasure 24/7? But yes, the novel will give potential followers…erm, subscribers a deeper insight into how we operate.
Although just to clarify, the author did go a tad overboard. His accounts of torture-porn, chainsaws, acid, rape, cannibalism and giant, horrific gods are purely artistic license for sales. Unfortunately, not only was the Cult’s reputation tarnished, but sadly the author met a tragic accident shortly after the review copies were sent out. A group broke into his house at night and flayed him in his bed. At least the money we save in royalties can go towards repairing our besmirched reputation! Should you want to know more about this sad and pointless death, we have the video, available to all subscribers. You should see it…boy does he bleed. And the screams? Oh the screams are orgasmic! Almost as good as the time Demon remade the move ‘Drillbit Taylor’ with a girl called Taylor and a drill…
OKAY…I THINK WE”VE HEARD ENOUGH. CAN YOU LEAVE NOW?
I don’t think so. I’ve been here long enough. All this time Demon has been hacking into your blog account. This site now belongs to us!
The pain, the confusion, the brutality,
He invades, He reaps, He destroys,
He answers the cry of your hidden self,
Those are His ways,
So say the Order of Zandathru!
Samhane, available from Stygian Publications, Amazon and other retailers from late November. Visit Stygian at www.necrotictissue.com and keep up with the now skinless author at http://www.daniel-i-russell.blogspot.com.