Discussing weight is a tricky issue due to the offending factor. There are ‘thin’ people who have never struggled with being overweight and some of them may say obesity is disgusting. Of course, that’s their opinion, and if their claims are true that they ‘eat what they like’ and ‘don’t do any exercise other than walking upstairs to take a bath’, then they’re blessed with perfect metabolism and are very lucky. Some people have fucked-up metabolism or thyroid issues and the weight piles on. Others simply eat the wrong food and don’t do enough exercise. I was one of the latter, and it took a good while for me to accept what I needed to do in order to lose weight. It took many years for me to get my head around finding the right diet plan, doing regular exercise, and believing I could lose the weight—and wanting to do it.
Because I’ve been in the mindset of ‘fuck it, I’ll always be fat, can never lose weight’ I totally understand obesity and how a person can get bigger. It happens. Life, depression, having kids, being comfortable…God, so many reasons why it occurs. It can take a long time to get your mind to accept you have a ‘problem’—if, indeed, a person sees being overweight as problem in the first place. Some people are happy as they are, thankyouverymuch, and for a long time I was one of those people. So what if I carried extra weight? So damn what?
It wasn’t until I started getting out of breath when walking short distances, struggling to combat the urge for just one more doughnut etc., that I looked down at myself and realised, for me, I had to do something. I got scared that my eating habits would escalate and make me ill. That I would die young. This enlightenment doesn’t happen for everyone—as I said, some are happy as they are, and that’s their business—but I wanted not just to lose weight, but to feel better and live longer. That’s my life choice, one I cottoned on to just in time, because I feel I was teetering on that fine line between being able to lose weight without it being too much of a chore, or going the other way and adding more pounds to my body and giving up ever trying to get them off.
Below are a couple of pictures I took this morning. One is of a pair of trousers that fitted me on Boxing Day 2009, with a pair of jeans I currently wear placed on top. The other is of my midsection while I’m wearing jeans today the same size as those pictured. At times it has been hard work. Doughnuts are what I crave, so to get my mind off accepting that I don’t need them has been hard going, but once the weight started coming off I got more determined to keep going. I hope to place a smaller size jeans on top of the ones here at some point this year, even if it’s Boxing Day by the time I reach my goal. That means it will have taken one year to ditch the pounds I promised myself I would dump.
If you’re on the losing weight, healthy eating, or exercise plans, good luck, and remember: YOU CAN DO THIS!
God, I seem to go in fits and starts with blogging. Sometimes I have shitloads to say, and others I…don’t.
I have an EC release this month (WOOT!) and Burning (as Sarah Masters) comes out on the 9th with Loveyoudivine. It’s the second of the Blinded series, told from Lee’s point of view, 1st person. The co-author book with Jaime Samms, Fight, will be coming very soon. I’m really pleased to announce Fight will also be available in print, which is pretty damn groovy, even if I do say so myself. Also, my print copy of The Master will be arriving soon, and I can’t wait to sniff the fresh pages. Sad cow.
Since blogging last I’ve submitted two more tales to EC, one by myself and one co-author. I’m also in the middle of writing another for EC, and the third book in the Blinded series, Inferno, will be written some time this month. So, it’s all go, and I’m a tired little bunny, but so far this year it’s been a blast of busy, busy, busy.
Weight Loss News
As some of you know from my ‘notes’ page on Facebook, I’ve been trying to lose weight for a long time. Since the beginning I’ve lost around 56 pounds—though I haven’t got the proper tally because my friend has the list of what I’ve lost the past 10 weeks or so—but I really started going for it on Boxing Day 2009. Since then I’ve gone down two dress sizes—not that I wear dresses—and finally accepted/believed I’ve lost the weight and sorted out my wardrobe so my old clothes are no longer there. It took a while for me to accept it, and even when sorting the clothes out yesterday I wanted to keep some. But I was good and got rid.
I’ve joined some friends, and we walk about six and a half miles on weeknights. Some weeks I can go every night, some I can’t. It all depends on what I’m writing or doing on any given day. If a book’s gripping me, the walk goes out the window. Career comes before my vanity at the moment. Still, any exercise is better than none, so I don’t beat myself up over not going all the time. And sometimes I’m too damn tired anyway. That’s it from me today, I think. Hope you all have a great weekend!
Thursday is usually my day off because my daughter, Nat, comes to visit. Unless I’ve got too much to do, steeped in a book, I take this day to forget about writing-based stuff and just be me. The problem is, my body and mind usually give up on me when I slow down or rest, and Thursdays see me dog tired by about three o’clock.
Anyway, I’ve been writing this week and gave myself two days to finish Burning. Unfortunately, as is usually the way with me, the book will be longer than my estimate. I’m a pantser, and my books usually evolve as I write them. The book took a different direction to my original intention, which will add another 6K to the book. No matter. So long as I know where I’m going with it, whatever word count I end up with is by the by. It just means another couple of days writing it, that’s all.
After Blinding I want to write my part in the book I’m co-authoring with Jaime Samms then it’s back into my latest EC book. Once those are done, I can start Inferno, the 3rd book in the Blinded series. It’s all go, but I’m happy with that at the moment. I have my to-do list under control and don’t feel so overwhelmed with everything on it.
I’ve been so busy this week I haven’t been walking with the girls at night. By the time seven o’clock rolls around when we usually set off, I’m shattered. My mind is drained, and the last thing I feel like doing is giving my body a battering too. But I’ll be back to walking Monday next week, because I’m determined to have Burning and my co-author scene off my list.
I’ve created a couple of covers for LYD authors. I enjoyed making them. I love doing cover art. When I go into Photoshop, I concentrate so hard on what I’m doing that everything else fades away. Here they are:
Hmm. That’s about it from me as Sarah Masters/Emmy. The other me, whoa, she’s having a ball with EC. One book out, another due in July, edits coming soon on a novel and a totally groovy review has given me hope that I’m onto a good thing with her. She’s been well received in various places so far, which is lovely because I did worry, using another pen name, what it would be like being a ‘new’ author again. It’s been great. Better than the first time around. I’m comfortable with her voice in her books—bonus!
Well, I’m off for a day of talking to Nat and pottering about the kitchen tidying up. I do plan to write about my ‘24’ and Lost addiction at some point, so if you’re also a fan, it would be good to read your take on the programmes. TTFN!
Anyway, I went grocery shopping today and on the way back had a think about a book I’ve messed up on. I started it all wrong. Telling the reader what had happened instead of writing it as it happens. And telling is the right word. Appalling! Naughty me. So I’m going to start again, using what I have in parts but revamping. Let’s hope I get it done, because I need to finish this one. What with the weather being like it is, I’m hardly likely to be doing anything else but writing.
Hmm. I’ve been having weird dreams lately. I usually have them when I’m worried or stressed, but I’m not particularly either at the moment. The to-do list has shrunk, I have everything in order, so I can only assume my mind is wandering as I sleep because I haven’t had the writing outlet the past few days. In one dream there were spiders. Big buggers crawling on the floor in my house. I asked each one of my kids to ‘Get the spider for Mummy’ but they walked past me as though I hadn’t spoken. One of those lucid dreams where you’re there but not. I was invisible. No one got the spiders for Mummy, and I looked down at them—I had bare feet—and told myself that there are some things I must do for myself. I know what it’s about with regards to my waking life, but the dream just reinforced it.
I had another weird dream last night, but buggered if I can remember it now. Just know I woke thinking: WTF was that all about? Weird.
Well, I’m off to put the groceries away, make a cuppa, then try and fix this book. Hope you have a great day, folks!